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Posted by 1961girl@gmail.com on May 15, 2009, 3:24 pm
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. ! Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked.
"How can you tell them apart?"
"3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone"
Oldie but goodie.
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Posted by lucille on May 15, 2009, 4:34 pm
show/hide quoted text
>A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
> husband stalking around with a fly swatter
> "What are you doing?" She asked.
> "Hunting Flies" He responded.
> "Oh. ! Killing any?" She asked.
> "Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
> Intrigued, she asked.
> "How can you tell them apart?"
> "3 were on a beer can,
> 2 were on the phone"
> Oldie but goodie.
Here's one that I think I heard when I was in Junior High School, a long,
long time ago--I'll start the groaning myself.
Back in the time when the Samurai were important, there was a powerful
emperor who needed a new chief Samurai, so he sent out a declaration
throughout the land that he was searching for the best one. A year passed,
and only 3 people showed up for the trials:
...a Japanese Samurai
...a Chinese Samurai
...and a Jewish Samurai.
The emperor asked the Japanese Samurai to come in and demonstrate why he
should be the chief Samurai. The Japanese Samurai opened a match box and out
flew a bumblebee. Whoosh! Went his razor sharp sword, and the bumblebee
dropped dead on the ground in 2 pieces. The emperor exclaimed, "This is
impressive!"
The emperor then issued the same challenge to the Chinese Samurai for him to
come in and demonstrate why he should be chosen. The Chinese Samurai also
opened a match box and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh, Whoosh! went his great
flashing sword and the fly dropped dead on the ground .....in four small
pieces. The emperor exclaimed in awe, "That is really VERY impressive!"
Now the emperor turned to the Jewish Samurai, and asked him also to step
forward and demonstrate why he should be the head Samurai. The Jewish
Samurai also opened a match box and out flew a small gnat. His lightning
quick sword went Whooooosh! Whooooosh! Whoooosh! but the tiny gnat was still
alive and flying around. The emperor, obviously very disappointed in this
display said, "I see you are not up to the task. The gnat is not dead?"
The Jewish Samurai just smiled and said: "Circumcision is not meant to
kill."
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Posted by on May 15, 2009, 5:47 pm
wrote:
show/hide quoted text
>Here's one that I think I heard when I was in Junior High School, a long,
>long time ago--I'll start the groaning myself.
>Back in the time when the Samurai were important, there was a powerful
>emperor who needed a new chief Samurai, so he sent out a declaration
>throughout the land that he was searching for the best one. A year passed,
>and only 3 people showed up for the trials:
>...a Japanese Samurai
>...a Chinese Samurai
>...and a Jewish Samurai.
>The emperor asked the Japanese Samurai to come in and demonstrate why he
>should be the chief Samurai. The Japanese Samurai opened a match box and out
>flew a bumblebee. Whoosh! Went his razor sharp sword, and the bumblebee
>dropped dead on the ground in 2 pieces. The emperor exclaimed, "This is
>impressive!"
>The emperor then issued the same challenge to the Chinese Samurai for him to
>come in and demonstrate why he should be chosen. The Chinese Samurai also
>opened a match box and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh, Whoosh! went his great
>flashing sword and the fly dropped dead on the ground .....in four small
>pieces. The emperor exclaimed in awe, "That is really VERY impressive!"
>Now the emperor turned to the Jewish Samurai, and asked him also to step
>forward and demonstrate why he should be the head Samurai. The Jewish
>Samurai also opened a match box and out flew a small gnat. His lightning
>quick sword went Whooooosh! Whooooosh! Whoooosh! but the tiny gnat was still
>alive and flying around. The emperor, obviously very disappointed in this
>display said, "I see you are not up to the task. The gnat is not dead?"
>The Jewish Samurai just smiled and said: "Circumcision is not meant to
>kill."
Lucille, twenty lashes and go to your room rdh
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Posted by lucille on May 15, 2009, 6:03 pm
show/hide quoted text
> wrote:
>>Here's one that I think I heard when I was in Junior High School, a long,
>>long time ago--I'll start the groaning myself.
>>Back in the time when the Samurai were important, there was a powerful
>>emperor who needed a new chief Samurai, so he sent out a declaration
>>throughout the land that he was searching for the best one. A year passed,
>>and only 3 people showed up for the trials:
>>...a Japanese Samurai
>>...a Chinese Samurai
>>...and a Jewish Samurai.
>>The emperor asked the Japanese Samurai to come in and demonstrate why he
>>should be the chief Samurai. The Japanese Samurai opened a match box and
>>out
>>flew a bumblebee. Whoosh! Went his razor sharp sword, and the bumblebee
>>dropped dead on the ground in 2 pieces. The emperor exclaimed, "This is
>>impressive!"
>>The emperor then issued the same challenge to the Chinese Samurai for him
>>to
>>come in and demonstrate why he should be chosen. The Chinese Samurai also
>>opened a match box and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh, Whoosh! went his great
>>flashing sword and the fly dropped dead on the ground .....in four small
>>pieces. The emperor exclaimed in awe, "That is really VERY impressive!"
>>Now the emperor turned to the Jewish Samurai, and asked him also to step
>>forward and demonstrate why he should be the head Samurai. The Jewish
>>Samurai also opened a match box and out flew a small gnat. His lightning
>>quick sword went Whooooosh! Whooooosh! Whoooosh! but the tiny gnat was
>>still
>>alive and flying around. The emperor, obviously very disappointed in this
>>display said, "I see you are not up to the task. The gnat is not dead?"
>>The Jewish Samurai just smiled and said: "Circumcision is not meant to
>>kill."
> Lucille, twenty lashes and go to your room rdh
I'm already in my room. lol
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Posted by Gillian Murray on May 15, 2009, 8:25 pm
lucretiaborgia@fl.it wrote:
show/hide quoted text
> wrote:
>
>
>> Here's one that I think I heard when I was in Junior High School, a long,
>> long time ago--I'll start the groaning myself.
>> Back in the time when the Samurai were important, there was a powerful
>> emperor who needed a new chief Samurai, so he sent out a declaration
>> throughout the land that he was searching for the best one. A year passed,
>> and only 3 people showed up for the trials:
>> ...a Japanese Samurai
>> ...a Chinese Samurai
>> ...and a Jewish Samurai.
>> The emperor asked the Japanese Samurai to come in and demonstrate why he
>> should be the chief Samurai. The Japanese Samurai opened a match box and out
>> flew a bumblebee. Whoosh! Went his razor sharp sword, and the bumblebee
>> dropped dead on the ground in 2 pieces. The emperor exclaimed, "This is
>> impressive!"
>> The emperor then issued the same challenge to the Chinese Samurai for him to
>> come in and demonstrate why he should be chosen. The Chinese Samurai also
>> opened a match box and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh, Whoosh! went his great
>> flashing sword and the fly dropped dead on the ground .....in four small
>> pieces. The emperor exclaimed in awe, "That is really VERY impressive!"
>> Now the emperor turned to the Jewish Samurai, and asked him also to step
>> forward and demonstrate why he should be the head Samurai. The Jewish
>> Samurai also opened a match box and out flew a small gnat. His lightning
>> quick sword went Whooooosh! Whooooosh! Whoooosh! but the tiny gnat was still
>> alive and flying around. The emperor, obviously very disappointed in this
>> display said, "I see you are not up to the task. The gnat is not dead?"
>> The Jewish Samurai just smiled and said: "Circumcision is not meant to
>> kill."
>
> Lucille, twenty lashes and go to your room rdh
I sent it to Mike...so he can decide if Aya would understand the joke,
or feel insulted. He might have to explain...and then she will think it
hilarious.
Gill
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> husband stalking around with a fly swatter
> "What are you doing?" She asked.
> "Hunting Flies" He responded.
> "Oh. ! Killing any?" She asked.
> "Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
> Intrigued, she asked.
> "How can you tell them apart?"
> "3 were on a beer can,
> 2 were on the phone"
> Oldie but goodie.