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Posted by Lucretia Borgia on September 16, 2005, 5:53 pm
On Fri, 16 Sep 2005 15:56:45 -0400, "Lucille"
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> Now tell me--does this describe your government? And I don't care where
>you live, it probably fits.
>Governmentium
>>> A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of
>>> the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been
>>> named "Governmentium." Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant
>>> neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons,
>>> giving it an atomic mass of 312.
>>> These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which
>>> are surrounded by vast quantities of particles called peons. Since
>>> Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
>>> detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
>>> contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take
>>> over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a
>>> second.
>>> Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay,
>>> but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
>>> assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
>>> Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
>>> reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
>>> isodopes.
>>> This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to
>>> believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
>>> quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to
>>> as "Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
>>> Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as the
>>> Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons
Yes, and every time I have to deal with a government department, I
always seem to brush up against the moron section lol
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>> the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been
>> named "Governmentium." Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant
>> neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons,
>> giving it an atomic mass of 312.
>> These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which
>> are surrounded by vast quantities of particles called peons. Since
>> Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
>> detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
>> contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take
>> over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a
>> second.
>> Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay,
>> but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
>> assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
>> Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
>> reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
>> isodopes.
>> This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to
>> believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
>> quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to
>> as "Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
>> Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as the
>> Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons