It's HARD to Learn to Be a Good Dog These Days...

Posted by Dr. Zachary Smith on October 1, 2009, 12:44 pm

In the vein of "The Cider House Rules", I present you: (and I have no
idea how the spacing will come out...)

THE DOG HOUSE RULES

1. Obey all rules.
2. Dogs are responsible for their OWN bodies.
No exceptions.
3. The house is NOT your bathroom. No exceptions.
(If you don=92t use our house for your bathroom, we won=92t use your
crate for ours.)
4. Shut the Fudge up unless:
=95 You have to go outside (See Rule #3)
=95 You are trying to warn us about something WE deem important.
5. Biting/Chewing is allowed only on items specifically approved for
that purpose
by Mom & Dad. No exceptions.
6. No noses, paws, tails, or tongues on tables, counters or other
surfaces above floor level.
No exceptions.
7. Unacceptable behavior is unacceptable. Unacceptable behavior is
anything we say it is.
No exceptions.
=95 Dog teeth on human skin are unacceptable.
=95 Puking in the house is unacceptable.
=95 Dog farts are unacceptable.
=95 Jumping up on ANYTHING is unacceptable.
=95 Dog noise is unacceptable (See Rule #4).
=95 Crazy-dogging in the house is unacceptable.
=95 Destroying Mom & Dad=92s stuff is unacceptable.
=95 Crotch-sniffing is unacceptable.
=95 Anything else we say is unacceptable... is unacceptable.
8. Inability to read and/or ignorance of any rule is no excuse.
9. Tough.

Posted by Dr. Zachary Smith on October 1, 2009, 12:47 pm

Whoops - gotta edit it already:

7.
=95 Humping ANYTHING is unacceptable.

wrote:
show/hide quoted text
our
show/hide quoted text

Posted by Polly Esther on October 1, 2009, 1:43 pm

While we were being over-run by house guests, Yogi has re-thought his
priorities. For his previous furry 5 years, he was certain that any place
high up was a threat to his personal safety: no sofa, no bed and no 'up in
arms'. None. Zero.
With so many careless human feet coming and going here, he's decided
that 'up' is safe.
When it is bed time, he stands on his back legs and does the Dancing Circus
Bear routine - all the time looking longingly at the bed. It works.
We don't know how long it will last but for a while, even though all the
guests are gone, he seems to think DH's bed is the Place for resting a
Yorkie.
Could be worse. At least he's not four large furry faces. Polly

"Dr. Zachary Smith" <wrote
In the vein of "The Cider House Rules", I present you: (and I have no
idea how the spacing will come out...)

THE DOG HOUSE RULES

1. Obey all rules.
2. Dogs are responsible for their OWN bodies.
No exceptions.
3. The house is NOT your bathroom. No exceptions.
(If you don’t use our house for your bathroom, we won’t use your
crate for ours.)
4. Shut the Fudge up unless:
• You have to go outside (See Rule #3)
• You are trying to warn us about something WE deem important.
5. Biting/Chewing is allowed only on items specifically approved for
that purpose
by Mom & Dad. No exceptions.
6. No noses, paws, tails, or tongues on tables, counters or other
surfaces above floor level.
No exceptions.
7. Unacceptable behavior is unacceptable. Unacceptable behavior is
anything we say it is.
No exceptions.
• Dog teeth on human skin are unacceptable.
• Puking in the house is unacceptable.
• Dog farts are unacceptable.
• Jumping up on ANYTHING is unacceptable.
• Dog noise is unacceptable (See Rule #4).
• Crazy-dogging in the house is unacceptable.
• Destroying Mom & Dad’s stuff is unacceptable.
• Crotch-sniffing is unacceptable.
• Anything else we say is unacceptable... is unacceptable.
8. Inability to read and/or ignorance of any rule is no excuse.
9. Tough.

Posted by onetexsun on October 1, 2009, 3:14 pm

Wow, that's quite a list! LOL In my experience with dogs, spread over
many dogs and 52 years, I have had more or less success in making a
few rules stick. I never had a dog that would bite me and survive. All
have been happily housebroken in short order. All the rest on your
list have been considered "open for negotiation" by most dogs in the
household. I really wish that the part about puking in the house and
no doggy body parts on surfaces above floor level would be taken more
seriously by the current doggy occupant. But it's apparently not to
be.

Polly, sounds like Yogi has come up with his own renegotiation rules.
I bet he's a great little snuggler.

Sunny

Posted by Kate in MI on October 1, 2009, 3:30 pm

show/hide quoted text
puppy will obey ANY of these rules any time soon....

um.... it's gonna be a LONG AUTUMN season! You will definitely need to UP
your patience quotient!

Our Jasmine looks like she finally got housebreaking about 10 days ago
(we're celebrating!). She was born on Valentine's Day -- so that's what...
7 months? I just don't want to jinx it!

--
Kate in MI
http://community.webshots.com/user/K_Groves

In the vein of "The Cider House Rules", I present you: (and I have no
idea how the spacing will come out...)

THE DOG HOUSE RULES

1. Obey all rules.
2. Dogs are responsible for their OWN bodies.
No exceptions.
3. The house is NOT your bathroom. No exceptions.
(If you don’t use our house for your bathroom, we won’t use your
crate for ours.)
4. Shut the Fudge up unless:
• You have to go outside (See Rule #3)
• You are trying to warn us about something WE deem important.
5. Biting/Chewing is allowed only on items specifically approved for
that purpose
by Mom & Dad. No exceptions.
6. No noses, paws, tails, or tongues on tables, counters or other
surfaces above floor level.
No exceptions.
7. Unacceptable behavior is unacceptable. Unacceptable behavior is
anything we say it is.
No exceptions.
• Dog teeth on human skin are unacceptable.
• Puking in the house is unacceptable.
• Dog farts are unacceptable.
• Jumping up on ANYTHING is unacceptable.
• Dog noise is unacceptable (See Rule #4).
• Crazy-dogging in the house is unacceptable.
• Destroying Mom & Dad’s stuff is unacceptable.
• Crotch-sniffing is unacceptable.
• Anything else we say is unacceptable... is unacceptable.
8. Inability to read and/or ignorance of any rule is no excuse.
9. Tough.

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