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Posted by onetexsun on October 2, 2009, 1:18 pm
((((( Anne ))))) My dear girl, I'm not going to start in on those
church people who would add to a person's sufferings with such cr*p,
even tho I'd love to. Instead I'm just going to tell you to PLEASE
keep taking your meds. And go back to your medical doctor, the one who
gave the meds to you. Tell him/her about the pressure you're getting
from your so-called 'support' system.
Where do you live in the U.S.? I just know that there is a real
support group of non-judgmental people who would welcome you into
their midst.
Can you stop going to church? Can you remind your husband of the last
round of postpartum and what that pastor said? Can you tell the know-
nothings to go pray for themselves? Sorry, I promised I wouldn't do
that.
Know that you are believed, loved and supported here. We are real
people and we care for you and will see you through this. Take your
meds. If not for you, then do it for your children. They need their
mom to be well and healthy and able to lead them in life. And know
that God loves you and would never afflict you with this horrible
Black Dog just to test your faith. In the times when we are too weak
or ill to reach out in faith, God keeps reaching out to us.
Hugs and prayers,
Sunny
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Posted by Joanna on October 3, 2009, 11:59 am
Probably late cutting in here, but I'm shocked! I'ld be dumping that
church for sure. But that's just me and right now I'm just someone on
the internet. So if there is even a small hope that you may be able to
use those people for some help, then keep them around. But noone should
ever be suggesting that depression is all in your head, part of a choice
you made, or because your beliefs are not that strong. That's the type
of hocuc pocus that leads to tragedies. You have Depression. It is real,
it's not imagined, it's not all in your head. It is a medical condition
no different then say an ingrown toe nail. You didn't do anything to
cause it and wishing it away won't work. I think you need to stick to
those that understand this and will support you, not belittle you. You
are a Great person, you are worth the effort, and deserve to be treated
as such.
My God understands that you are sick and need support to heal. He does
not judge you and think that you are weak. He is there to listen and
hear your prayers. Sorry I've ranted. This is just my thoughts and I'm
no medical doctor just another person that's been there. And I can't
offer you any support other then my words right now, although I would
like to. So I will continue to think of you and pray for you.
Take Care
Joanna
Anne Rogers wrote:
show/hide quoted text
> Well, I met with my pastor, my husband and a friend on Wednesday
> morning, apparently all my problems are due to my weak faith and that I
> repeat untruths to myself (curious as I rarely talk my self down and
> it's never been to do with faith). I am so hurt and there is literally
> no one to support me, my friends are the members of the church (remember
> we'll have lived in the US 3 years tomorrow).
>
> Last time I had postpartum depression I kind of compartmentalised and
> faith wasn't one of the necessary compartments, but I kept going through
> the motions and everything turned out ok in the end.
>
> Now it's the completely opposite, I went to the pastor voluntarily to
> see if he could give me any help in not doing that this time and it's
> turned into my depression being non existance and my faith being weak,
> which is probably is as every time I meet with someone they tell me it
> is, keep telling me that and I'll believe it as truth, instead they tell
> me that I'm talking myself down. I rarely talk myself down, and if I do,
> it's along the lines of I'm fat (which is true), or I don't like my new
> haircut (also true).
>
> Now I feel like I'm repeatedly being brought before a kangeroo court and
> being told untruths, with depression not even mentioned.
>
> I've now decided not to take my meds, maybe that will prove a point,
> I've many sleepless nights to look forward to now.
>
> I think I'd do better if I declared that I had no faith and never went
> back to this so called church. My last church were so helpful, the
> pastors wife was very ill with postpartum depression, a couple of years
> before me, so the pastor actually had a clue.
>
> Anne
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Posted by Anne Rogers on October 3, 2009, 1:01 pm
Joanna wrote:
show/hide quoted text
> Probably late cutting in here, but I'm shocked! I'ld be dumping that
> church for sure. But that's just me and right now I'm just someone on
> the internet. So if there is even a small hope that you may be able to
> use those people for some help, then keep them around. But noone should
> ever be suggesting that depression is all in your head, part of a choice
> you made, or because your beliefs are not that strong. That's the type
> of hocuc pocus that leads to tragedies. You have Depression. It is real,
> it's not imagined, it's not all in your head. It is a medical condition
> no different then say an ingrown toe nail. You didn't do anything to
> cause it and wishing it away won't work. I think you need to stick to
> those that understand this and will support you, not belittle you. You
> are a Great person, you are worth the effort, and deserve to be treated
> as such.
>
> My God understands that you are sick and need support to heal. He does
> not judge you and think that you are weak. He is there to listen and
> hear your prayers. Sorry I've ranted. This is just my thoughts and I'm
> no medical doctor just another person that's been there. And I can't
> offer you any support other then my words right now, although I would
> like to. So I will continue to think of you and pray for you.
I think part of the problem is that in my ill state, I don't necessarily
hear what is being said, I certainly couldn't summarise what was said,
only what I feel and having talked it through with someone who was
there, I had a very distorted view of what had gone on. However that
still means there is stuff for the church to learn, they have to treat
me like I'm stupid and begin every meeting by reminding me that they
understand that depression is an illness affecting me physically,
mentally, emotionally and spiritually, otherwise when they only talk
about spiritual stuff, I believe that is because that is where the only
problem is.
Cheers
Anne
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Posted by Joanna on October 3, 2009, 5:31 pm
My best friend is going through this right now. Although not post partum
depression it's still depression. She got a little tape recorder so she
can review things later and think about it. She also takes notes during
group therapy. Her therpist also talks into the recorder after their
sessions and gives a brief description of what they talked about.
Otherwise she says she would not remember anything. And lots of things
that are said she misinterprets them. This way she can listen later when
she's not feeling so emotional and better understand what was said. If
she's still feeling emotional about it then she gets her hubby to listen
as well. Although she trusts him to tell it like it is. Your really need
someone you can trust. She says she doesn't necessarily believe
everything he says but she trusts that he wouldn't lie to her. So
sometimes she says she just accepts that what he is saying is true and
tries to work that way.
As a friend when she is going through a rough time I miss her. And I let
her that. I tell her when she's ready I will still be right here waiting
for her and that I love her. Sometimes that is all she will let me do,
and that's ok. When she needs more I'm here for that too. Just because
she is sick doesn't change my love for her. I will always be here. Just
as we are always here for you!
Take Care
joanna
Anne Rogers wrote:
show/hide quoted text
> I think part of the problem is that in my ill state, I don't necessarily
> hear what is being said, I certainly couldn't summarise what was said,
> only what I feel and having talked it through with someone who was
> there, I had a very distorted view of what had gone on. However that
> still means there is stuff for the church to learn, they have to treat
> me like I'm stupid and begin every meeting by reminding me that they
> understand that depression is an illness affecting me physically,
> mentally, emotionally and spiritually, otherwise when they only talk
> about spiritual stuff, I believe that is because that is where the only
> problem is.
>
> Cheers
> Anne
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Posted by Maureen Wozniak on October 3, 2009, 5:08 pm
On Thu, 1 Oct 2009 22:27:02 -0500, Anne Rogers wrote
show/hide quoted text
> Well, I met with my pastor, my husband and a friend on Wednesday
> morning, apparently all my problems are due to my weak faith and that I
> repeat untruths to myself (curious as I rarely talk my self down and
> it's never been to do with faith). I am so hurt and there is literally
> no one to support me, my friends are the members of the church (remember
> we'll have lived in the US 3 years tomorrow).
>
> Last time I had postpartum depression I kind of compartmentalised and
> faith wasn't one of the necessary compartments, but I kept going through
> the motions and everything turned out ok in the end.
>
> Now it's the completely opposite, I went to the pastor voluntarily to
> see if he could give me any help in not doing that this time and it's
> turned into my depression being non existance and my faith being weak,
> which is probably is as every time I meet with someone they tell me it
> is, keep telling me that and I'll believe it as truth, instead they tell
> me that I'm talking myself down. I rarely talk myself down, and if I do,
> it's along the lines of I'm fat (which is true), or I don't like my new
> haircut (also true).
>
> Now I feel like I'm repeatedly being brought before a kangeroo court and
> being told untruths, with depression not even mentioned.
>
> I've now decided not to take my meds, maybe that will prove a point,
> I've many sleepless nights to look forward to now.
>
> I think I'd do better if I declared that I had no faith and never went
> back to this so called church. My last church were so helpful, the
> pastors wife was very ill with postpartum depression, a couple of years
> before me, so the pastor actually had a clue.
>
> Anne
(((HUGS))), Anne. Although I know you need more than that.
You're problem is not weak faith. It is a medical problem that can be
treated. I don't know why you decided to stop taking your meds, but please
rethink that decision. Or see if you can get different meds.
And you need a new church!
Maureen
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> morning, apparently all my problems are due to my weak faith and that I
> repeat untruths to myself (curious as I rarely talk my self down and
> it's never been to do with faith). I am so hurt and there is literally
> no one to support me, my friends are the members of the church (remember
> we'll have lived in the US 3 years tomorrow).
>
> Last time I had postpartum depression I kind of compartmentalised and
> faith wasn't one of the necessary compartments, but I kept going through
> the motions and everything turned out ok in the end.
>
> Now it's the completely opposite, I went to the pastor voluntarily to
> see if he could give me any help in not doing that this time and it's
> turned into my depression being non existance and my faith being weak,
> which is probably is as every time I meet with someone they tell me it
> is, keep telling me that and I'll believe it as truth, instead they tell
> me that I'm talking myself down. I rarely talk myself down, and if I do,
> it's along the lines of I'm fat (which is true), or I don't like my new
> haircut (also true).
>
> Now I feel like I'm repeatedly being brought before a kangeroo court and
> being told untruths, with depression not even mentioned.
>
> I've now decided not to take my meds, maybe that will prove a point,
> I've many sleepless nights to look forward to now.
>
> I think I'd do better if I declared that I had no faith and never went
> back to this so called church. My last church were so helpful, the
> pastors wife was very ill with postpartum depression, a couple of years
> before me, so the pastor actually had a clue.
>
> Anne