OT just thought I'd continue to update

> I know you guys want to know how I'm doing and now seems to be a good
> time to update.
> Fortunately after my really low mood of last Monday and Tuesday, things
> have started to look up a bit, my mood is more stable, though I continue
> to exhibit symptoms of depression.
> My MIL arrived safely and though I could really do with her having a bit
> more initiative, it has been helpful, though it does seem to end up with
> her having fun with the kids, whilst I do chores! At least it makes it a
> lot easier to get to appointments, of which there are many!
> I've been trying to do some reading and I hope as I get through that
> I'll have a clearer vision about what is depression and what isn't.
> There is some really painful stuff in my past that I've hidden not dealt
> with.
> The friend that I'd been having trouble with seemed to experience a real
> change during church yesterday, she was crying through worship and her
> husband was comforting her, I was in turmoil, was something I was
> currently doing causing it, or was I being self centered thinking it was
> something to do with me, anyway as the kids left for their program, she
> turned and hugged me really tight, whether it was something else and she
> decided she needed my comfort, or whether she was upset for me I don't
> know, but it's definitely a change as she later asked me to meet up for
> a coffee this week, we did that this morning and she's obviously been
> thinking a lot about me and is desparately concerned for me spiritually.
> It was hard to hear her say that she thinks I've been in a pit for a
> long time. I just started reading "Get Out of that Pit" by Beth Moore
> and was coming to the opposite conclusion, which is why I need a friend
> like her to point out things she knows about my past. Because we moved
> from the UK to the US a little under 3 years ago, her family are the
> only people that have known us any longer than that as rather randomly
> they lived in the UK (they are American) and then moved to the same area
> =A0 as we did, but for different reasons.
> It's still going to be a long road ahead, figuring out what is
> spiritual, what is depression and what is my past and what not. But I
> feel in a much better place to be dealing with that now than even last
> week. Though I'd find it even better if I weren't so exhausted.
> My parents continue to ignore that anything is happening, and
> unfortunately I discovered last week that some of their treatment of me
> whilst growing up can't just be dismissed as a style of parenting, but a
> type of neglect verging on abuse, now I realise that, I can see how it
> has effected my sister too and I have to figure out how to forgive them
> and to continue forgiving them.
> Cheers
> Anne

> I am SO unqualified to offer advice on depression, Anne, and mostly I
> don't. However . . . forgive your parents? Sure. Go ahead. Again and
> again. Many of us could curdle your gourd with tales of abusive and
> neglectful parents. Probably none of ours have been serial killers but
> they mostly fell short of perfect or even supportive.
> No mother-in-law joke could hold a candle to the crap I suffered with
> mine. If she's any help at all, entertaining the little ones while you do
> chores, my goodness . . . that's something. Mine wanted to do 'full
> makeup and pearls' while I entertained her along with tending a newborn.
> I'm so glad to hear that you are holding on, seeking answers, letting
> go of stuff that doesn't matter or you can't control.
> But . . . forgive? Yes. You can do that. Holding you close in our
> prayers, Polly
>

> Thank you for the update, Anne! It sounds like post-partum depression may
> be compounded by some general depression? The work you are doing, working
> through your feelings, is very important. There will be many who have hurt
> you in the past -- some intentionally, some unintentionally. I think it is
> more important to your recovery to forgive them, rather than attempt to
> talk out those hurts with the one who hurt you (and very likely has no
> idea they hurt you, and has probably completely forgotten about the
> incident that looms so large in your own memory).
> To add to what Polly has said below -- forgiveness is something you do
> *regardless* of whether or not the people you are forgiving deserve it, or
> have earned it, or have asked for it, or even realize they need it.
> Forgiveness is something *you* do, *for you*.
> *You* are the one who has suffered the consequences of stuffing your
> emotions about them (resentment/anger/whatever) inside where it eats away
> at you, unseen. Those buried, invisible feelings have (and had) absolutely
> no effect on them.
> In the same way, when you forgive, *you* reap the benefits of that
> forgiveness -- which is very freeing. It can feel like a weight off your
> shoulders! A very heavy weight which is no longer your burden.
> The lightness of feeling that results can translate directly into your
> depression lifting, you will begin to feel so much better!
> Then you'll only be dealing with the "baby blues" part of it.
> Unfortunately, I've never dealt with that so can't offer any comforting
> words. But it seem sto me, that if you are dealing with only the one
> thing, it should be easier to treat.
> You are in our thoughts and prayers.
> Dragonfly (Pam)
> "Polly Esther" wrote in message news:
>> I am SO unqualified to offer advice on depression, Anne, and mostly I
>> don't. However . . . forgive your parents? Sure. Go ahead. Again and
>> again. Many of us could curdle your gourd with tales of abusive and
>> neglectful parents. Probably none of ours have been serial killers but
>> they mostly fell short of perfect or even supportive.
>> No mother-in-law joke could hold a candle to the crap I suffered with
>> mine. If she's any help at all, entertaining the little ones while you
>> do chores, my goodness . . . that's something. Mine wanted to do 'full
>> makeup and pearls' while I entertained her along with tending a newborn.
>> I'm so glad to hear that you are holding on, seeking answers, letting
>> go of stuff that doesn't matter or you can't control.
>> But . . . forgive? Yes. You can do that. Holding you close in our
>> prayers, Polly
>