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Posted by Anne Rogers on October 3, 2009, 9:15 pm
Gen wrote:
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> What a sad statement. Guess you'll just have to adapt some way. I can't
> imagine not wanting to care for a baby. Seems every time you're given an
> option, either it won't work or you don't want to do it. Sad, sad.
Well it is sad, I'm severely depressed, why would it be anything but
sad. Weaning would solve nothing, it would likely make things worse for
the reason I gave, there is medical research backing up that weaning in
the case of postpartum depression is actually worse for the mum than
continuing to breastfeeding if that is what the mum desires and that is
very much what this mum desires, if that was taken away from me, I'd
have yet another thing to be upset about. I nursed both my other
children well beyond a year and was disappointed not to get to the 2
years that the WHO recommends. I have severe depression, I don't want to
care for myself, let alone anyone else, maybe I should be in hospital,
but as I'm not considered to be a risk to myself or others I'm not,
you'll have to trust the judgement of the professionals there. But right
now the only reason I look after myself at all, particularly with
regards to eating is so I can nurse, that may be wierd to you, but if I
stopped nursing, I literally would have no reason to live.
Cheers
Anne
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Posted by onetexsun on October 3, 2009, 10:23 pm
Unless you've experienced the horrid blackness of depression you can't
understand fully what Anne's going through. Yes, she's being
oppositional. That's part of the depression -- if she could see a
solution or believe something would work, she wouldn't be depressed.
Not wanting to care for her baby is part of the depression. My
suspicion is it's nature's way of protecting a helpless baby with a
depressed mom -- mom doesn't want to see the baby so she hands it off
to someone else to care for.
And that brings us to breastfeeding vs. weaning. I was a volunteer
breastfeeding support for four years and have a tiny bit of knowledge.
When the baby is weaned, the mom's body is suddenly deprived of
prolactin. Prolactin is the wonderful hormone that breastfeeding moms
produce that gives so many of us that peaceful, calm warmth and calm.
Obviously, a severely depressed mom is short on prolactin in the first
place and a sudden weaning would add to the chemical assault on her
brain.
Anne is in a bad spot. She has no support system here and wouldn't
have one back in England, either. It sounds like she comes from a
religious background that is punitive and backwards. Depression,
including postpartum depression, is a disease. I've watched my sister
suffer (and nearly die) from depression for her entire adult life.
She's never had children because she feared passing on that gene. When
she's in the depths (and this goes for all depressives), there is no
good answer to anything. She refuses all treatment because she
believes it would make her worse rather than better. That attitude is
part of the disease.
Please don't be judgmental or close your hearts to Anne's plight. You
may not be able to relate to where she is. That doesn't mean she can
simply put down her disease and join you and me in the happy world of
sunshine and cheerful babies. If you have it in you to pray for Anne,
then I believe she needs that very much. If you have the ability to
send her a word or hope, she needs that too. Mostly all we can do for
Anne is to listen to her and offer gentle words of love and hope. It's
a bit of a bandaid on a broken bone, but still it's better than
nothing. And it's far better than criticizing her. Pray that you never
fall into the depths where Anne lives now.
Sunny
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Posted by DiMa on October 3, 2009, 10:54 pm
Sunny,
I agree wholeheartedly with your post.
I have been and still am depressed - but fortunately for me, I have a
wonderful caring family who have taken the time, albiet a very very long
time, to understand where I am coming from.
Being depressed is in my opinion, one of the worst mental illnesses you can
have because no one doctor or shrink or whoever, fully understands the brain
and what it does. It is still new territory in the medical world.
Anne, stay calm as I have said before and feed your baby when he/she needs
it - it is OK to let someone else care for the baby (they will probably
enjoy it anyway) - you will get better with the 'right' help and finding
that seems to be difficult at the moment.
Don't give up whatever you do - there is a whole world of friends who care
for you.
Warm hugs and prayers always.
--
Di
I'm creative! You can't expect me to be neat too.
Vic Australia
To reply please remove # in email address.
show/hide quoted text
> Unless you've experienced the horrid blackness of depression you can't
> understand fully what Anne's going through. Yes, she's being
> oppositional. That's part of the depression -- if she could see a
> solution or believe something would work, she wouldn't be depressed.
> Not wanting to care for her baby is part of the depression. My
> suspicion is it's nature's way of protecting a helpless baby with a
> depressed mom -- mom doesn't want to see the baby so she hands it off
> to someone else to care for.
> And that brings us to breastfeeding vs. weaning. I was a volunteer
> breastfeeding support for four years and have a tiny bit of knowledge.
> When the baby is weaned, the mom's body is suddenly deprived of
> prolactin. Prolactin is the wonderful hormone that breastfeeding moms
> produce that gives so many of us that peaceful, calm warmth and calm.
> Obviously, a severely depressed mom is short on prolactin in the first
> place and a sudden weaning would add to the chemical assault on her
> brain.
> Anne is in a bad spot. She has no support system here and wouldn't
> have one back in England, either. It sounds like she comes from a
> religious background that is punitive and backwards. Depression,
> including postpartum depression, is a disease. I've watched my sister
> suffer (and nearly die) from depression for her entire adult life.
> She's never had children because she feared passing on that gene. When
> she's in the depths (and this goes for all depressives), there is no
> good answer to anything. She refuses all treatment because she
> believes it would make her worse rather than better. That attitude is
> part of the disease.
> Please don't be judgmental or close your hearts to Anne's plight. You
> may not be able to relate to where she is. That doesn't mean she can
> simply put down her disease and join you and me in the happy world of
> sunshine and cheerful babies. If you have it in you to pray for Anne,
> then I believe she needs that very much. If you have the ability to
> send her a word or hope, she needs that too. Mostly all we can do for
> Anne is to listen to her and offer gentle words of love and hope. It's
> a bit of a bandaid on a broken bone, but still it's better than
> nothing. And it's far better than criticizing her. Pray that you never
> fall into the depths where Anne lives now.
> Sunny
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Posted by Listpig on October 4, 2009, 6:11 pm
On 10/3/09 22:54, in article 4ac80e70@news.comindico.com.au, "DiMa"
show/hide quoted text
> Being depressed is in my opinion, one of the worst mental illnesses you can
> have because no one doctor or shrink or whoever, fully understands the brain
> and what it does. It is still new territory in the medical world.
Not only that, but people can't *see* what is wrong with you. That leads to
stuff like "just snap out of it", demands that the correct faith, willpower,
or "do what I tell you" will not only make it All Better, but do so by the
weekend at the latest.
Those same people wouldn't even consider telling you to "snap out of" breast
cancer or muscular dystrophy or even a "mere" broken leg. But since they
cannot see or comprehend a *physical* problem, they think you can simply
choose to no longer be ill, and the refusal to do so is willfulness on your
part which merits insults and abandonment. So the odds of having a useful
support system are far worse than with a physical problem.
(The exceptions, interestingly enough, are the physical problems most
entangled with depression: chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. They
too tend to get "it's all in your head, snap out of it" as a response, since
there's no specific and express physical cause that can be pointed to.)
--pig
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Posted by Edna Pearl on October 4, 2009, 6:21 pm
Well said!
ep
show/hide quoted text
> On 10/3/09 22:54, in article 4ac80e70@news.comindico.com.au, "DiMa"
>> Being depressed is in my opinion, one of the worst mental illnesses you
>> can
>> have because no one doctor or shrink or whoever, fully understands the
>> brain
>> and what it does. It is still new territory in the medical world.
> Not only that, but people can't *see* what is wrong with you. That leads
> to
> stuff like "just snap out of it", demands that the correct faith,
> willpower,
> or "do what I tell you" will not only make it All Better, but do so by the
> weekend at the latest.
> Those same people wouldn't even consider telling you to "snap out of"
> breast
> cancer or muscular dystrophy or even a "mere" broken leg. But since they
> cannot see or comprehend a *physical* problem, they think you can simply
> choose to no longer be ill, and the refusal to do so is willfulness on
> your
> part which merits insults and abandonment. So the odds of having a useful
> support system are far worse than with a physical problem.
> (The exceptions, interestingly enough, are the physical problems most
> entangled with depression: chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia.
> They
> too tend to get "it's all in your head, snap out of it" as a response,
> since
> there's no specific and express physical cause that can be pointed to.)
> --pig
>
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> imagine not wanting to care for a baby. Seems every time you're given an
> option, either it won't work or you don't want to do it. Sad, sad.