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Posted by Kate XXXXXX on October 4, 2009, 7:10 pm
Listpig wrote:
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> On 10/3/09 22:54, in article 4ac80e70@news.comindico.com.au, "DiMa"
>
>> Being depressed is in my opinion, one of the worst mental illnesses you can
>> have because no one doctor or shrink or whoever, fully understands the brain
>> and what it does. It is still new territory in the medical world.
>
> Not only that, but people can't *see* what is wrong with you. That leads to
> stuff like "just snap out of it", demands that the correct faith, willpower,
> or "do what I tell you" will not only make it All Better, but do so by the
> weekend at the latest.
>
> Those same people wouldn't even consider telling you to "snap out of" breast
> cancer or muscular dystrophy or even a "mere" broken leg. But since they
> cannot see or comprehend a *physical* problem, they think you can simply
> choose to no longer be ill, and the refusal to do so is willfulness on your
> part which merits insults and abandonment. So the odds of having a useful
> support system are far worse than with a physical problem.
>
> (The exceptions, interestingly enough, are the physical problems most
> entangled with depression: chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. They
> too tend to get "it's all in your head, snap out of it" as a response, since
> there's no specific and express physical cause that can be pointed to.)
Damned right! Add polymialgia rheumatica to that. My mum has developed
it. She now realizes just how lucky she is that she never suffered from
clinical depression, and only now sufferes from PR depression. As if
that isn't bad enough...
I get a lot of the puzzled looks. No-one has quite dared to tell me to
pull myself together.
--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!
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Posted by Anne Rogers on October 4, 2009, 7:43 pm
show/hide quoted text
> Damned right! Add polymialgia rheumatica to that. My mum has developed
> it. She now realizes just how lucky she is that she never suffered from
> clinical depression, and only now sufferes from PR depression. As if
> that isn't bad enough...
>
> I get a lot of the puzzled looks. No-one has quite dared to tell me to
> pull myself together.
I have real physical causes for my pain and exhaustion, ehlers danlos
syndrome and narcolepsy, but most people still don't get it!
Honestly I think they play a huge part in my depression, I'm not in
constant pain, but it is almost daily pain and it can be severe, and add
in narcolepsy to looking after a newborn and your doomed!
Cheers
Anne
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Posted by onetexsun on October 4, 2009, 11:22 pm
If I ever write a book it will be called "But You Don't LOOK Sick!"
For six years my life has been controlled by a rotating regimen of
pain, total fatigue, illness and meds. I don't look sick. When I'm the
sickest with a flare, I have bright, beautiful red blooms on my
cheeks. People inevitably say "Oh it's so good to see you looking
radiant and healthy again." And typically I have a high fever and am
in total pain and my response has to be "Thank you."
I know a lot of people on this board have silent and invisible
diseases. A lot of people in our society have them too. But you can't
tell by looking that our Ginger has lupus and pain and struggles to
stay active and works her buns off at a very responsible job. You
can't see Anne's depression - most people see a young mom with a
beautiful new baby and think "Oh lucky thing, she must be so happy."
You can't see polymialgia rheumatica, chronic fatigue syndrome, panic
disorder, fibromyalgia or a host of other life changing and sometimes
life threatening diseases.
One of the challenges facing bird owners is that you seldom see a sick
bird. They flit around, nibble on seed, ruffle their feathers and drop
dead. It's nature's way of keeping a diseased animal as safe as
possible so it might have a chance to recover from the illness. If a
bird looked sick, predators would eat it in a heartbeat. We aren't
birds, but I'm sure nature has worked the same tricks on us
evolutionarily. That just means we have to talk and talk and talk some
more. And ultimately I believe (and this is just my belief) that the
answer is compassion. Imagine the world if we every one made a
compassionate heart the center of our beings and the focus of our
lives.
Ok, off my soapbox. My roast has been in the crock pot for 8 hours and
isn't even vaguely tender yet so we all had Cream of Wheat for supper.
Tomorrow I'm chopping it up to make soup.
Hugs to all, Sunny
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Posted by Kate XXXXXX on October 5, 2009, 3:28 am
Anne Rogers wrote:
show/hide quoted text
>
>> Damned right! Add polymialgia rheumatica to that. My mum has
>> developed it. She now realizes just how lucky she is that she never
>> suffered from clinical depression, and only now sufferes from PR
>> depression. As if that isn't bad enough...
>> I get a lot of the puzzled looks. No-one has quite dared to tell me
>> to pull myself together.
>
> I have real physical causes for my pain and exhaustion, ehlers danlos
> syndrome and narcolepsy, but most people still don't get it!
>
> Honestly I think they play a huge part in my depression, I'm not in
> constant pain, but it is almost daily pain and it can be severe, and add
> in narcolepsy to looking after a newborn and your doomed!
I do understand. To paraphrase, I try to take one type of depression at
a time, but sometimes several hit me at once.
I take a list of what *doesn't* hurt today when I wake up... And then I
add in the gloom factor: today were at about 3 for pain and 3 for
depression on a 1-10 scale. An OK day. Friend coming in for coffee and
book natter later, so I'd like to get the sitting room tidied and
hoovered before she gets here, but she won't worry if I don't. Once the
pain killers kick in and the joints have loosened up, things will feel a
bit better.
I find if I list the things that are affecting me today, I can set then
aside and get on a bit better, as I then know what I have to do
something about (take pain killers, for example) and do it, and what I
just have to sit out (gloomy weather depressing my mood, for example,
and weather changes affecting pain levels).
--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!
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Posted by Joanna on October 3, 2009, 11:38 pm
Well said, thanx
Joanna
onetexsun wrote:
show/hide quoted text
> Unless you've experienced the horrid blackness of depression you can't
> understand fully what Anne's going through. Yes, she's being
> oppositional. That's part of the depression -- if she could see a
> solution or believe something would work, she wouldn't be depressed.
> Not wanting to care for her baby is part of the depression. My
> suspicion is it's nature's way of protecting a helpless baby with a
> depressed mom -- mom doesn't want to see the baby so she hands it off
> to someone else to care for.
>
> And that brings us to breastfeeding vs. weaning. I was a volunteer
> breastfeeding support for four years and have a tiny bit of knowledge.
> When the baby is weaned, the mom's body is suddenly deprived of
> prolactin. Prolactin is the wonderful hormone that breastfeeding moms
> produce that gives so many of us that peaceful, calm warmth and calm.
> Obviously, a severely depressed mom is short on prolactin in the first
> place and a sudden weaning would add to the chemical assault on her
> brain.
>
> Anne is in a bad spot. She has no support system here and wouldn't
> have one back in England, either. It sounds like she comes from a
> religious background that is punitive and backwards. Depression,
> including postpartum depression, is a disease. I've watched my sister
> suffer (and nearly die) from depression for her entire adult life.
> She's never had children because she feared passing on that gene. When
> she's in the depths (and this goes for all depressives), there is no
> good answer to anything. She refuses all treatment because she
> believes it would make her worse rather than better. That attitude is
> part of the disease.
>
> Please don't be judgmental or close your hearts to Anne's plight. You
> may not be able to relate to where she is. That doesn't mean she can
> simply put down her disease and join you and me in the happy world of
> sunshine and cheerful babies. If you have it in you to pray for Anne,
> then I believe she needs that very much. If you have the ability to
> send her a word or hope, she needs that too. Mostly all we can do for
> Anne is to listen to her and offer gentle words of love and hope. It's
> a bit of a bandaid on a broken bone, but still it's better than
> nothing. And it's far better than criticizing her. Pray that you never
> fall into the depths where Anne lives now.
>
> Sunny
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>
>> Being depressed is in my opinion, one of the worst mental illnesses you can
>> have because no one doctor or shrink or whoever, fully understands the brain
>> and what it does. It is still new territory in the medical world.
>
> Not only that, but people can't *see* what is wrong with you. That leads to
> stuff like "just snap out of it", demands that the correct faith, willpower,
> or "do what I tell you" will not only make it All Better, but do so by the
> weekend at the latest.
>
> Those same people wouldn't even consider telling you to "snap out of" breast
> cancer or muscular dystrophy or even a "mere" broken leg. But since they
> cannot see or comprehend a *physical* problem, they think you can simply
> choose to no longer be ill, and the refusal to do so is willfulness on your
> part which merits insults and abandonment. So the odds of having a useful
> support system are far worse than with a physical problem.
>
> (The exceptions, interestingly enough, are the physical problems most
> entangled with depression: chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. They
> too tend to get "it's all in your head, snap out of it" as a response, since
> there's no specific and express physical cause that can be pointed to.)