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Posted by Sunny on June 26, 2009, 7:15 pm
I've made a lot of assumptions over the past few months about my Mom's
situation in Arizona. She's in a small group home with several other
ladies, all cared for by the hospice system. I've talked to her,
trying to be upbeat and cheerful.
Well, now it comes out. My sister packed all my mom's stuff away when
she first moved into hospice. My mom is in a room with a hospital bed,
a small chest and a bedside table. No television, no computer (I
thought she no longer emailed me because she was too weak) and no
comfortable recliner. My sister told her none of it can come out of
storage. She's told me the same thing, saying "something big and heavy
has fallen in front of the door to the storage space and we can't get
in any more." My son offered to go help sort out Mom's stuff and
provide muscle months ago and my sister just had a fit saying it was
none of his business.
Ok, at this juncture I haven't spoken to or heard from either sister
in months. My younger sister hasn't taken a phone call or returned an
email since last September. My older sister hasn't talked to or seen
my mom in months and I can't get down there. I just finished paying
off the credit card bill I ran up when we were there in August last
year. Rental car, food, plane fare, etc. I was sick for a long time
after we came back. The heat and travel in general are very, very hard
for me. I know, what a pansy -- can't handle doing what I ought to
do.
My mom has caused a lot of pain and grief in her life for many people.
They had to take the phone out of her room a few months ago because
she called the police and tried to get a nurse she didn't like
arrested. Claimed the woman stole something from her. (no, mom doesn't
have dementia. She's just ..... who she's always been) But nobody
deserves to be left to die in such deliberately diminished
circumstances.
So I'm asking for prayers. For her.
Thanks,
Sunny
And I apologize for the ongoing soap opera of my life. I suspect
you're all sick and tired of hearing about it.
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Posted by KJ on June 26, 2009, 7:26 pm
You might consider calling Adult Protective Services and check on what they
might be able to do for her. This could border on abuse with her not being
allowed to have any of the comforts of her own belongings. It might be
worth a phone call. (It sounds like your sister may be an apple off your
mom's tree!)
--
Kathyl (KJ)
remove "nospam" before mchsi
http://community.webshots.com/user/kathylquiltz
show/hide quoted text
> I've made a lot of assumptions over the past few months about my Mom's
> situation in Arizona. She's in a small group home with several other
> ladies, all cared for by the hospice system. I've talked to her,
> trying to be upbeat and cheerful.
> Well, now it comes out. My sister packed all my mom's stuff away when
> she first moved into hospice. My mom is in a room with a hospital bed,
> a small chest and a bedside table. No television, no computer (I
> thought she no longer emailed me because she was too weak) and no
> comfortable recliner. My sister told her none of it can come out of
> storage. She's told me the same thing, saying "something big and heavy
> has fallen in front of the door to the storage space and we can't get
> in any more." My son offered to go help sort out Mom's stuff and
> provide muscle months ago and my sister just had a fit saying it was
> none of his business.
> Ok, at this juncture I haven't spoken to or heard from either sister
> in months. My younger sister hasn't taken a phone call or returned an
> email since last September. My older sister hasn't talked to or seen
> my mom in months and I can't get down there. I just finished paying
> off the credit card bill I ran up when we were there in August last
> year. Rental car, food, plane fare, etc. I was sick for a long time
> after we came back. The heat and travel in general are very, very hard
> for me. I know, what a pansy -- can't handle doing what I ought to
> do.
> My mom has caused a lot of pain and grief in her life for many people.
> They had to take the phone out of her room a few months ago because
> she called the police and tried to get a nurse she didn't like
> arrested. Claimed the woman stole something from her. (no, mom doesn't
> have dementia. She's just ..... who she's always been) But nobody
> deserves to be left to die in such deliberately diminished
> circumstances.
> So I'm asking for prayers. For her.
> Thanks,
> Sunny
> And I apologize for the ongoing soap opera of my life. I suspect
> you're all sick and tired of hearing about it.
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Posted by J* on June 26, 2009, 8:45 pm
i agree with Kathyl.
also do they have elderly advocates there?
someone who can step in and see what is going on and help resolve the
situation on your moms behalf. i googled 'arizona senior advocates' and
found enough links that will probably be some help. i'll leave the rest to
you.
one question....does anyone hold a power of attorney for your moms
belongings and/or her other affairs? if it is one of your sisters it might
present other problems to deal with but i'm sure there are ways to deal with
this with help from various places.
the way we treat old people is disgusting sometimes.
btdt, not looking forward to ever being in that situation.
i'll follow my sons lead if i ever get into that situation.
j.
heres a starting point that might be useful.
http://www.seniorresource.com/arizona.htm
"KJ" wrote...
You might consider calling Adult Protective Services and check on what they
might be able to do for her. This could border on abuse with her not being
allowed to have any of the comforts of her own belongings. It might be
worth a phone call. (It sounds like your sister may be an apple off your
mom's tree!)
--
Kathyl (KJ)
remove "nospam" before mchsi
http://community.webshots.com/user/kathylquiltz
"Sunny" wrote...
show/hide quoted text
> I've made a lot of assumptions over the past few months about my Mom's
> situation in Arizona. She's in a small group home with several other
> ladies, all cared for by the hospice system. I've talked to her,
> trying to be upbeat and cheerful.
> Well, now it comes out. My sister packed all my mom's stuff away when
> she first moved into hospice. My mom is in a room with a hospital bed,
> a small chest and a bedside table. No television, no computer (I
> thought she no longer emailed me because she was too weak) and no
> comfortable recliner. My sister told her none of it can come out of
> storage. She's told me the same thing, saying "something big and heavy
> has fallen in front of the door to the storage space and we can't get
> in any more." My son offered to go help sort out Mom's stuff and
> provide muscle months ago and my sister just had a fit saying it was
> none of his business.
> Ok, at this juncture I haven't spoken to or heard from either sister
> in months. My younger sister hasn't taken a phone call or returned an
> email since last September. My older sister hasn't talked to or seen
> my mom in months and I can't get down there. I just finished paying
> off the credit card bill I ran up when we were there in August last
> year. Rental car, food, plane fare, etc. I was sick for a long time
> after we came back. The heat and travel in general are very, very hard
> for me. I know, what a pansy -- can't handle doing what I ought to
> do.
> My mom has caused a lot of pain and grief in her life for many people.
> They had to take the phone out of her room a few months ago because
> she called the police and tried to get a nurse she didn't like
> arrested. Claimed the woman stole something from her. (no, mom doesn't
> have dementia. She's just ..... who she's always been) But nobody
> deserves to be left to die in such deliberately diminished
> circumstances.
> So I'm asking for prayers. For her.
> Thanks,
> Sunny
> And I apologize for the ongoing soap opera of my life. I suspect
> you're all sick and tired of hearing about it.
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Posted by J* on June 26, 2009, 8:53 pm
http://www.arizonaseniornetwork.com/CommunityServices.html
theres another link with lots of info.
j.
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Posted by KJ on June 26, 2009, 9:09 pm
DH says he believes the Arizona Department is called Adult Protective
Services. It should be a state department. It's been several years since
we lived in AZ, but at the time (and now) DH had/has an interest in and
researches elder abuse.
--
Kathyl (KJ)
remove "nospam" before mchsi
http://community.webshots.com/user/kathylquiltz
show/hide quoted text
> http://www.arizonaseniornetwork.com/CommunityServices.html
> theres another link with lots of info.
> j.
>
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> situation in Arizona. She's in a small group home with several other
> ladies, all cared for by the hospice system. I've talked to her,
> trying to be upbeat and cheerful.
> Well, now it comes out. My sister packed all my mom's stuff away when
> she first moved into hospice. My mom is in a room with a hospital bed,
> a small chest and a bedside table. No television, no computer (I
> thought she no longer emailed me because she was too weak) and no
> comfortable recliner. My sister told her none of it can come out of
> storage. She's told me the same thing, saying "something big and heavy
> has fallen in front of the door to the storage space and we can't get
> in any more." My son offered to go help sort out Mom's stuff and
> provide muscle months ago and my sister just had a fit saying it was
> none of his business.
> Ok, at this juncture I haven't spoken to or heard from either sister
> in months. My younger sister hasn't taken a phone call or returned an
> email since last September. My older sister hasn't talked to or seen
> my mom in months and I can't get down there. I just finished paying
> off the credit card bill I ran up when we were there in August last
> year. Rental car, food, plane fare, etc. I was sick for a long time
> after we came back. The heat and travel in general are very, very hard
> for me. I know, what a pansy -- can't handle doing what I ought to
> do.
> My mom has caused a lot of pain and grief in her life for many people.
> They had to take the phone out of her room a few months ago because
> she called the police and tried to get a nurse she didn't like
> arrested. Claimed the woman stole something from her. (no, mom doesn't
> have dementia. She's just ..... who she's always been) But nobody
> deserves to be left to die in such deliberately diminished
> circumstances.
> So I'm asking for prayers. For her.
> Thanks,
> Sunny
> And I apologize for the ongoing soap opera of my life. I suspect
> you're all sick and tired of hearing about it.