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Posted by Jean D Mahavier on May 8, 2006, 5:22 pm
Best way to find out and let Kate know where her lost
fabric had gone was to email her, so up to the study
Jean went to pass information out and ask for some in.
When she had sent the Feds off before it had been with a
gadget of theirs; come to think of it, why hadn't she
asked if they still had it? But maybe it would only work
for the two of them and she might be stuck with the
penguins and that sneaky little polar bear -- not
a happy idea.
At the computer she called up Kate's email address and
typed out a short note announcing the whereabouts of
the blue and black cloth and the fact that it still weighed
a stone or two but was the size of a gentleman's handkerchief,
more or less. Then she asked how Kate has sent the
mob off, Feds and animal circus to boot. Could she send them
back along with the fabric? She explained that Boss Fed and Carl
had some new thing for downsizing, but had no solid idea as
to how to use it; that was how the bear and penguins got so
small. And the Feds claimed the polar bear used it on the cloth,
without their knowledge. She hoped for a quick response.
Back down she went again to find out about the gadget with the
REPLACE button she had used before that actually returned them
to Kate's, the last place they had been. Well, yes, Carl admitted
to still possessing it, but it had gotten even worse than before, he said.
Before, the HOME button had quit so they never got back to
where they belonged, but travelled all over hell and back on various
assignments. Now even the REPLACE button did strange things,
sometimes sending them somewhere they had been, but not recently,
other times sending them places they had never seen and had no
business there. He claimed it was quite frustrating not having any
idea where they were going, or of they really were supposed to be there.
Jean listened to all of this and asked for the HOME/REPLACE box.
Reluctantly, Carl dug it out of an inner pocket and handed it over.
"Thanks," Jean said, "I'll take good care of it, along with the red and
black thing of yours I have." Then she realized she hadn't seen the
bear or the birds during this trip downstairs. "Where is the menagerie,
you guys?" she asked and Boss Fed pointed in the guest room while
Carl put a finger to his lips signalling "Quiet." Boss Fed explained
that while he and Carl were cleaning up and sorting the sewing room
the birds decided to play hide and seek in the various drawers and
cabinets.
"It got to where we didn't know what we might find when one of us
opened a door or a drawer! There might be one penguin or all six
squabbling over which one got there first! Then the
bear tired of all the fussing, made some rules and joined the game.
It was all we could do to get everything straight after they finally quit,
totally worn out! And we still have the machines to clean and lubricate
for you, new and old." Jean looked in the guest room and found them
all asleep, scattered among her collection of stuffed animals on one of
the beds. The miniature penguins lay cuddled up to Opus, the penguin
from Bloom County; the bear lay on its back on the purple platypus's
stomach. This really deserved a picture so up she went for her camera;
she would send it off to Kate right away.
The photo taken, Jean went up to the study to send it off to Kate, and found
she had a response to her earlier email: "Wonderful the fabric was found,
but
would it ever be useable for Auntie-Mo-Next-Door to use for a sofa cover?"
and she went on to explain what she had done to send the Feds to Jean's
house.
Off the photo went, and Jean decided she would try the old HOME/REPLACE
box with everyone holding hands, paws and flipper-wings. First she thought
to butter up Carl, Boss Fed, and the menagerie with tea time. She dug
around for
a can of sardines, put the kettle on, and sliced some of her banana nut cake
("the
best ever" those who ate it claimed). That ought to do the trick. Then off
they
would go!
Tea time went smoothly until Jean announced her plan to ship them out. Boss
Fed
argued they still needed to check each and every drawer and shelf in the
sewing room
since the beasts--er, animals, had been fooling around so much in there.
Jean insisted,
though, and after the cake and sardines had been washed down with large
doses of
tea she brought out the small black box. Although it took several minutes
to get
them all quieted down and together in a group, she finally got all the
wings, paws, and
hands connected, with the polar bear clutching its tiny suitcase to its
side, the
fabric safely tucked away in it. She put the red and black gadgets into one
of Carl's jacket pockets, aimed the old HOME/REPLACE box at the travelling
circus
and punched REPLACE. Suddenly they were gone!
And just as suddenly, they all appeared in one of Auntie-Mo-Next-Door's
upstairs rooms.
(to be continued)
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Posted by Kate Dicey on May 8, 2006, 6:23 pm
Jean D Mahavier wrote:
Great stuff, Jean!
> And just as suddenly, they all appeared in one of Auntie-Mo-Next-Door's
> upstairs rooms.
>
> (to be continued)
>
>
Here we go...
Scene: Auntie Mo Next door's blue room. It is dark. A muffled thumping
and some stifled swearing can be heard from under the bed...
One of the drawers slides open a bit, and a dark head pops up.
Carl (serious stage whisper): Boss! I know where we are! We're back
under that bed that used to be in the Scots witch's sewing room. It got
moved next door to the blond witch with the BIG dogs... I don't
understand how two smallish middle aged wimmin can move a whole double
bed, but they did it!
(Muttering and squeaking from the drawer)
Carl: No, I don't see the dogs. The door is closed. Keep quiet and
maybe they won't hear us. They were fearsome hounds, those! Took weeks
to get the slobber out of my suit!
(Boss pops up beside Carl)
Boss: Well, we gotta move outta here: my left leg is going numb, and I'm
not all that fond of the smell of fish in my pockets. And the bear is
getting hungry again.
(They clamber out, slowly and carefully. Boss slips over to the door
and opens it quietly. Harry hound is asleep on the landing, and there
is singing and splashing from the bathroom. Harry doesn't twitch an
ear. The feds slip past like shadows and creep down the stairs. The
penguins are scared enough to keep quiet and the polar bear has gone all
sulky at the though of being back in cold wet England again.
They reach the bottom of the stairs and there's a quiet debate about the
merits of trying to escape through the kitchen and out the back,
possibly passed an as yet unseen Barny hound, and making a quicker but
noisier getaway through the front door. The back wins. Boss reaches
out and opens the door to the kitchen/dining room... )
Scene: Mo's kitchen/dining room: there are two sewing machines set up on
the dining table, which has been fully extended and fills most of the
room. There are piles of half finished items all over it, and piles
more of fabric waiting to be cut on the breakfast bar. Kate is sitting
at one machine, with an array of small metal parts, several different
sized screwdrivers, a can of sewing machine oil, some slightly oily
rags, and a set of sample stitches around her in a small cleared space.
She is digging delicately into the innards of the machine with a pair
of long nosed tweezers... The door clicks and opens, and Boss pops his
head into the room. Kate doesn't look up.
Kate: Mo! I think I've fixed the problem! There was a ton of looped
thread round the bobbin case, and a bit was jammed in the race. I've
got it all out, cleaned out the feed dogs and replaced them, and I was
just putting the bobbin case back in when I found a bit of broken needle
down there... I think I have it now...
Boss: Erm...
(Kate puts the tweezers down slowly and turns round.)
Kate: YOU! What in the name of God and all the little fishes are you
doing back here? I thought I'd got rid of you! (she spies the penguins
peeping out of Boss's pocket) You haven't brought that bloody menagerie
back with you? (she LOOKS at him over her specs)
Boss (sidling sheepishly into the room): Erm... Your Mizz Mahavier
sent us back, ma'am. We brought that bit of fabric you lost, but it's
had a bit of an accident...
Carl (peeping round the door): Ma'am? Is that other dog in here?
Kate: No. Poor Barney passed away a year past Christmas. And
unfortunately Harry is now so deaf that you almost have to step on him
to disturb him. (Boss and Carl look sorry and relieved in equal measure)
Where did you pop up, anyway? I didn't hear you come in.
Carl: We came out in that bed upstairs - the one you used to have.
Kate: Well come in and sit down out of the way: the bear and the
penguins can play in the outside sink for now. (They scuttle out to Mo's
garden room, and can soon be heard splashing about) Remember, you lot -
any mess you make out there I will personally make you lick up! (The
splashing suddenly becomes a lot more sedate!)
(Kate seats the feds out of the way and makes coffee for four: Mo can be
heard moving about upstairs, and Harry starts grumbling and barking when
he smells the intruders. Kate opens the door to let him in, and calls
up to Mo.)
Kate: Mo! Those blessed feds we mailed back to the USA are back!
(Muffled swears are heard from upstairs)
Kate: I know - a right flaming nuisance, innit! I thought I'd got rid
of them the other day, but Jean has sent them back! But they say they
have that fabric for you.
(Kate gives the feds their coffee, but doesn't open the biscuit tin
sitting on the table. Jean's tea seems a long while ago: it's much
later here than it was in America, and their stomachs seem to be on
local time... Midnight feast time! They eye the tin surreptitiously.
Mo appears at the door, looking grumpily at them.)
Mo: You've got a cheek, turning up in my spare bed! I don't let just
*any* strange men sleep in that bed, you know!
(Boss and Carl mumble apologies)
Mo: So where's this fabric, then? (She sips the coffee Kate hands her)
(Boss slips a hand into an inside pocket and takes out the bear's
suitcase. He opens it carefully, struggling with the excessive weight,
and unfolds the bit of fabric: it looks awfully small for the weight.
Kate looks at it, peering sideways, and getting her nose up close: she
takes off her specks for a closer look.)
Kate: Hand me those tweezers...
(Carl gives her the long pointy nosed tweezers. Kate slips them under
one edge of the fabric and unfolds it... and again... and again...
Eventually they are all struggling under 10m of thick, heavy, sofa
covering blue fabric with a black back!)
Mo: Coo!
Kate: Hm...
Carl: Wow!
Boss: Oi! Help! I just stepped in the dog's dinner!
To be continued... ;)
--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!
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Posted by Pat in Arkansas on May 8, 2006, 8:16 pm
Wonderful stories!!!!!! I enjoy them much more than the book of
Medieval History I am reading!!
Good Job Jean and Kate!!! LOLOLOL
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Posted by Kate Dicey on May 9, 2006, 4:51 am
Pat in Arkansas wrote:
> Wonderful stories!!!!!! I enjoy them much more than the book of
> Medieval History I am reading!!
>
> Good Job Jean and Kate!!! LOLOLOL
>
Thank you.
Maybe you should try the book of mediaeval history *I'm* reading at the
moment: Who Murdered Chaucer, by Terry Jones et al... Very good read.
--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!
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Posted by Kate Dicey on May 9, 2006, 6:54 am
Scene: Kate's new conservatory. The cutting table is up, butted up
against the breakfast bar, giving her an ergonomic L shaped cutting
space and room to get at all parts of the project laid out. There are
magnetic clips on the fridge and the freezer, holding pictures and bits
of pattern. There's a large acreage of navy blue anorak fabric draped
over the cutting area, weighted down with tins of cat food and a coiled
fabric bowl filled with a calculator, a purple and lime green fat
quarter, a spring-loaded tape measure, two pairs of scissors and a pair
of tin snips. Kate is spreading out some very large dot&cross pattern
pieces.
Boss is standing in one corner, holding up a 26lt sack of polystyrene
balls for filling beanbag chairs. Carl is sitting in a garden chair on
the steps outside the open door. It is a balmy spring day with a light
breeze and a faint threat of rain to come...
Kate's large sink has been filled with warm water, and the polar bear
and the penguins are busy erecting an elaborate slide system out of
spare lengths of plastic gutter and downpipe they found in the garden.
Mo is busy stirring the coffee and the biscuit tin from her table is
beside her... It still has not been opened, but the feds have had a
good breakfast of old fashioned Scots porridge and toast and home made
marmalade.
Boss: Why the cat food tin?
Kate: Cheaper than those expensive fabric weights, and I always have
plenty of them. You can always use beans or soup if the cat food runs out.
Boss: My mother used pins...
Kate: So do I, but pins won't stop the excess fabric falling on the
floor. Look, take that bag up the shed and dump it. We don't need
those right now, and both you and it are in the way. (She hands him a
bunch of keys) It's the hex key.
Boss: Err... What?
Kate: The one with the hexagonal top, wally!
Boss (relieved - he was wondering if this was some arcane bit of
computereze or a curse: he never knew with the sewing witches): Oh,
right. If I'm not back in three days, send a search party!
(He manoeuvre the huge bag and himself out the door and disappears up
Kate's over-grown and scruffy garden. Kate and Mo watch him for a moment)
Mo: You know, you could do worse than put these two to work out there.
They could chop out those two bushes, relay the patio and earn their
keep while keeping out of our way! Then they could start on the path,
cut the grass, and trim back all the other bushes.
Kate: Don't tempt me! No, I really want them back where they belong.
They can empty the stash out of the loft for me this afternoon, and sort
and label all the boxes while we work out how this gadget of theirs
shrinks stuff. Once they are the size of the polar bear, we can send
them off home in a nice clean shoebox, CoD! Right, you hold that end,
and let's see how this fits...
(Kate and Mo are busy for a few minutes, spreading and laying out
pattern pieces. There are occasional murmurs of 'Check it's on the
straight grain' and 'Stuff a pin in that corner, would you', and 'Ouch!
I don't think we're supposed to sacrifice fingers to it!'. Eventually
the pattern is all pinned out, and they stop for a breather and the
coffee. Boss comes back, and they pass his out to him. He sits on the
steps in the sunshine, letting the world drift by for a few minutes.
Mo picks up some large scissors.)
Mo: Right, young lady - to work! Let's get this cut out before lunch!
Kate (picking up another pair): OK - I'll start at this end...
(Sound of snipping and shuffling...)
Carl: What is it you two are making anyway?
Mo: Aah... that would be telling!
Kate: If you aren't careful it might be winding sheets for lost federal
agents...
Carl (grinning - he's beginning to get the hang of this): No - really?
Looks awfully like that beanbag chair you made the other day - but a
hell of a lot bigger!
Kate: Have you ever heard of Roswell? That was no alien space ship,
that was a bit of sewing that got out of hand, and an accident with one
of those electronic gadgets of yours and a kitchen timer...
Boss: That was you two?
(Mo and Kate look at each other and giggle... Mo opens the biscuit tin.)
More to come - later! ;)
--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!
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